Roast Pork Over Rice

I'm a girl and I can be noisy if I want.

A box of Chocolate

I feel so appreciated today! I got a call this morning from a pt & his wife and they wanted to meet me for the first time down in clinic and they brought me a box of chocolate for Christmas!
super sweet of them, ahh, i love helping people ;) and feeling appreciated.

Chicken Wings topped with mushroom and green pepper

Heavenly! thats the word to describe my lunch, but it's not fun eating wings at the office and not looking like a cavewoman.

so I did it, I had a meeting with the supervisor about the issues that I've been having with my coworker, and it went fairly well. We'll see how that spins off!

movie, museums, dinner, mini trips, parks, what else can you do on dates?

Plans for this wknd:

Holiday Train Show!

Lunch: Jumbo Shrimp with Tofu and Onions

65 Degree in Decemeber in NY?
WTH is going on?

what should I get Mr. C?

25 Days Till Christmas

Breakfast: Dannon Blueberry Yogurt

So I'm super excited about Christmas this year, Eva and I decided that it would be fun if we do Secret Santa with all the cousins ( 9 of us) and we'll celebrate with potluck style family fest. It's been a while since we had a family gathering since gramp's passing. It felt like he was the glue that glued us together and we didnt want to fall apart because he's not here. He'll be with us in spirit!

--Note to self: need to buy a Christmas Tree

maybe one day, but just not now...

I said so it'll never happened?

he said never say never, just not now

so I'll wait and maybe that day will come!

ugh...

i hate office politic and working with people that takes advantage of your niceness.
my coverage is known for constantly being late and taking 1 hour + some minute lunch. Usually i dont really care too much if you're a couple of minutes late, but when its more than 10mins, it becomes a issue ! goddamn. you suck.

Random brain activities

-craving for Ivy's cupcake- so good- so moist- so rich- and not so sweet <3
-oh Hunter, please take me in for that one class that i want to take, thats all I ask
-self- please rememeber to apply for grad school by the end on Oct ; should I take the GRE and fail?
-coffeemate is good
- please remember to only be part of a bridal party for 3x

what a difference!

So weighting yourself at night in comparison to the day time is such a difference!
3-4 lbs!
haha- now i'm only going to weight myself in the morning, the number is so much slimmer to me.

JOG JOG JOG

I've been jogging for about a week now and it feels GREAT! 

The first few days were hard, but I noticed tonight that my resistance is building up, and Im not as out of breath anymore. I've also learned to pace myself while jogging. 

It's a awesome feeling even though you're sweating bullets. And I notice you actually meet a lot of people (fellow joggers!).  

Life

I found out some devastating news after work today. 

I ran into a JHS friend outside of work today, and after some catching up, found out that she's recently been diagnosis with Lymphoma. It's so upsetting and unexpected. She's such a sweet girl and is my age.  The last time I saw her, it was last summer and she was fine and perfect, and now she has Lymphoma. I hope she wins this battle with the monster, I dont want to lose another friend/family member to cancer.

It makes you see life in a different light, and you really dont know what will happen tomorrow and have to make the best of everything and cherish your love ones because life is full of surprises and they're not always good ones. 

maybe being in a relationship for long time has made you less passionate. 

the calls are less

the emails are less

maybe im being sensitive about certain things

i really try not to make a big fuss about things 

i dont want to become one of those needy girlfriends 

nor do i want to be those jealousy type

but im starting to feel like one 

maybe its because i dont know your social network 

maybe its just me, im really not too sure. 

Peace

Honest to truth, Im not sure how I'm suppose to feel at the moment. 

I just got off the phone with my uncle a few hours ago, they had a meeting with the doctors today and grandpa has only a few more weeks to live. He has stop taking his medication and is not eating. His body is giving up.

I kinda expected this to happen, but at the same time, I had hope that he was going to get better after his treatment.... knowing that he was being treated in one of the best cancer care hosp, I really thought he'll have a extra few years, guess not. 

maybe my emotions hasn't exactly kicked in yet. I'm known to have delay of emotions, maybe I'll be waking up crying my eyes out tomorrow morning. 

dry feet + flip flops = Ped Egg!

I was bored at work, and started to look at my feet, and notice that they were disgustingly dry, especially the heel area (eww) so I google and found the Ped Egg. I was skeptical in buying it after hearing mix reviews, but I was desperate to get rid of these dry skin! so I went to BedBath & Beyond and got one of these bad boys! and IT WORKS! 

It does a good job at shaving off the dead/dry skin ( almost like grating cheese lol) 

At first I thought it might hurt and shave too much of my skin off, but if you do it slowly, it's not bad :) 

Lost

Gramp's has been in the hospital for quite some time now. I just spoke with one of the attending, and they're going to insert a feeding tube into his abdomen because he's not eating. Initially we thought it was because he didn't like the food at the hospital, so we took turns getting him Chinese food, but even with that, his appetite is still low, and he just doesn't feel like eating. So since he's not getting any nutrients, they will tube him.

I'm kind of scare, and I don't know what to do, and sometimes I just wish that the MDs would stop calling me about the progress because I don't think I can make the final decision on things. Ultimately, the MDs should contact my uncle, but then, I dont think he's medically challenge to know what's going on. But I dont want to have that whole decision making burden on my shoulder either. It's a selfish act, I know, and I hate myself for doing that but... I really dont want to deal with it.

I've been bad, I should really visit him more, but every time I go, I pause by the door and see's how skinny he has gotten, and I chicken out. I back away and I leave without saying hi. I know it's horrible, but I just cant......... deal with it. Half the time, I force myself to go visit because he is my gramps, but for the most part, being in the room scares me. I feel like I wouldn't know what to do if something bad was to happen, like I wouldn't react fast enough.

I thought I would be able to handle all this, being that I did a internship with the hospice programs for a semester in college, but when it's your own grandfather on that bed, it's a complete different story.

I wish this could all end, and he'll be well again like a year ago.......

Sunday Morning with nothing to do

Usually I spend my wknds with the boyfriend ( I dont really get to see him on the weekday) but he had a family function to go to so I stayed home with absolutely nothing to do. It's feel weird not spending the whole wknd together. I guess it has became such a routine that we spend the wknd together and when we're not, its a bit odd. 

Funny Train Story

Chinese people are known for seat stealers on the train ( when i say chinese, I mean the chinamen and women)

The other day as I was taking the N train home with a coworker, these 2 chinamen were pushing me from behind so they can run into the train and seal a seat. So there was a row of empty seat that can sit up to 3 ppl. Chinamen number 1 slides to the edge and he wanted to save a seat for his friend so he puts his hand on the empty space. Normally I dont fight for seats, but because he was being so damn pushy, I decided to play the game of seat stealing as well. I slide myself right next to him, leaving roomspace of half a buttcheek and manage to save a seat for my friend ( YES!) THEN chinamen #2 decides to blop down on that half a buttcheek space!!!! The whole train must have been laughing at this scene. I cant believe what ppl would do for a seat nowadays. In the end, the two men stay put and didnt get up, of course I wasnt going to move and give them my seat us well.

random thoughts

okay so I have nothing to do, and decided to blog again. ( didnt we all use to do that when xanga was around- and it was the hottest thing to do)

I'm not really sure if I have anything fun to blog about, but hey, at least it kills some of my free time at work ( turtle pacing at work)